In editorial after editorial, FedEx Express spokesmen warn of all manner of economic and other catastrophes should Congress approve an amendment in the House version of the FAA Reauthorization Act which would place their express delivery drivers under the same labor law as UPS drivers.
In a guest column appearing in the Boulder Daily Camera last weekend, Maury Lane, director of corporate communications at FedEx, writes that “legislation being considered in Congress this week, if passed, would threaten the services provided by FedEx Express and could severely impede our ability to reliably serve Denver and other cities throughout Colorado.”
He added that “Should this legislation pass, there could be significant decreases in reliability and increases in overall shipping.”
It’s almost as if FedEx had hired comedian Jeff Foxworthy as their pitch man:
“This legislation will also cause nausea, vomiting, water weight gain, lower back pain, receding hairline, eczema, seborrhea, psoriasis, itchy chafing clothing, liver spots, blood clots, ringworm, excessive body odor, uneven tire wear, pyorrhea, gonorrhea, diarrhea, halitosis, scoliosis, loss of bladder control, hammertoes, the shanks, low sperm count, warped floors, cluttered drawers, hunchback, heart attack, low resale value on your home, feline leukemia, athlete’s foot, head lice, club foot, MS, MD, VD, fleas, anxiety, sleeplessness, drowsiness, poor gas mileage, tooth decay, split ends, parvo, warts, unibrow, lazy eye, fruit flies, chest pains, clogged drains, hemorrhoids, dry heaving, and sexual dysfunction.”
Mr. Lane’s Armageddon-like op/ed predictions of disaster have appeared in papers all across the U.S. in the hope of scaring the public (and Congress) into believing that FedEx will no longer be in business if its express delivery drivers are placed under the same labor law as UPS.
But even if all this was true (which it’s not), what does that say about the company’s viability in the free market if it has to rely on a special “corporate welfare” benefit that none of its competitors enjoys in order to stay in business?
We urge the Senate support the amendment to the FAA Reauthorization Act which would close the FedEx loophole.
#1 by Ron on March 17th, 2010
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This bill’s outcome will show the real current state of America. If passed without any harm to Fed-Ex, it will shine a spotlight on how our current government is corrupt and how far out of touch they are with middle class America. Where money and friends in politics get what they want over the betterment of it’s people. This bill is so black & white, that a 2 year old would tell you that protecting Fed-Ex is wrong. If Fred Smith gets his way here with his threats and lies, we are in more trouble than we know.