FedEx has resorted to just about every trick in the book – short of hiring a witch doctor to put a voodoo curse on UPS – in its effort protect a loophole in the nation’s labor law that gives the company a huge marketing advantage over its express delivery rivals.

Indeed, the Associated Press reported earlier this month that FedEx “spent nearly $4.9 million lobbying the federal government in the first quarter” of 2010, which was in addition to the “$4.7 million on lobbying in the fourth quarter of 2009.” All in an effort to retain a sweetheart loophole in the nation’s labor law that treats FedEx Express drivers like pilots while treating every other driver in the country like, well, drivers.

And as mentioned in a Wall Street Journal story last week, this legislative loophole gives FedEx a “significant advantage” over its competitors; the equivalent of putting training wheels on a bicycle.

In addition to the millions of carrots FedEx has spent on lobbyists, it has also pulled out a big stick in the form of a threat to cancel a purchase from Boeing if Congress doesn’t allow it to keep the training wheels on. Some might even call this threat a form of legislative extortion.

But what we find most objectionable about FedEx’s PR efforts is the sheer dishonesty of its campaign. The most obvious, of course, is the company’s effort to characterize the amendment to treat FedEx Express drivers like every other driver in the nation as a “bailout” for UPS.

American taxpayers know a bailout when they see one. Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac got a bailout. AIG and Goldman Sachs got a bailout. GM and Chrysler got a bailout. BofA, Citigroup and Wells Fargo got a bailout.

This is no bailout for UPS. Period.

In fact, it’s actually FedEx which has been receiving a non-stop “bailout” since 1996 when Congress gave the company special treatment under the law which has resulted in a “significant advantage” over its competitors; an advantage FedEx has not earned on its own merits in the marketplace, but through its skill in the fine art of congressional arm-twisting.

Closing the FedEx loophole wouldn’t be a bailout for UPS. It would be taking the corporate training wheels off FedEx; forcing the company to finally compete in the package delivery industry without a “significant” advantage” compliments of an inequity in federal labor law.